Los Angeles Based Visual Artist
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"I Ruin Nice Things" 2016

While I was living in Berlin I discovered a bag filled with my old love letters. I don't know why I held on to them all those years; maybe nostalgia, maybe narcissism, maybe both?  Reading them showed me what I was capable of, the love I could inspire and the hatred I could groom. A portrait of myself began to reveal itself and I knew then that I wanted to incorporate those letters into a piece one day.  That time came in 2016 when I needed it most. Here is the process of the piece that those letters would inspire me to create. The message that rang clear, "Ich verderbe schöne Dinge"

(I ruin nice things). 

Liebesbriefe (2016)

PART I: I began with the letters that I had found in Germany. I had women of different degrees of acquaintance re-write some of these letters so they could also participate in the voyeuristic experience of reading personal notes about me. These letters revealed things about me they didn't know. I wondered how they see me after reading them, and if they would connect to their own stories through mine.

Vorspiel (2016)

PART II: Placing the finished letters on the canvas forced me to give value to them. Which ones did I want to highlight: The adoring ones? The hateful ones? The long relationships? Short ones? Some were special to me and some barely foreplay. It had to be random, that's the only way.  

"Zweiundzwanzig Exen"

"Zweiundzwanzig Exen"

oil, paper, ink, on canvas  30 x 30in. (76.2 x 76.2 cm.) 2016

"Zweiundzwanzig Exen" Accompaniment

PART III:  Laid out under the sun, amongst the green grass and the birds chirping away. The honeymoon period is beginning to end. Twenty-two girlfriends become twenty-two exes.

"Der Held"

"Der Held"

oil, paper, ink, on canvas  30 x 30in. (76.2 x 76.2 cm.) 2016

"Das Monster"

Part IV: What was once attractive about someone can soon become the very thing you hate about them. As the facade crumbles, their truth reveals itself. 

"Das Monster" Accompaniment

"Das Monster" Accompaniment

oil, paper, ink, turpentine, on canvas  30 x 30in. (76.2 x 76.2 cm.) 2016

"Weidergeburt" (2016)

PART V: Ashes burned, buried, and reborn. 

"Phönix"

"Phönix"

ash, oil, paper, ink, on canvas  30 x 30in. (76.2 x 76.2 cm.) 2016